Christmas Party

A couple of Saturdays ago was the annual Castillo Family Christmas Party. I always look forward to these parties, and not because Santa’s going to be there, but because I’m pretty sure I have the greatest family ever. Calvin gets so excited to be with the other kids and it was so fun to watch him run around with them too. It was not fun to keep saying “Get down from there!” “Put that back!” “Turn the lights back on!” Why’d you take off your socks?!” “Who’s Coke is that?!” “Leave the door open!” “Who’s Pepsi is that?!” “I said ‘Leave the door open!’” “Who’s Mountain Dew is that?!” “Get over here right now and sit on Santa’s lap or you will not get any presents! EVER!” Apparently he sees me as a total pushover and is no longer threatened by my words. It was quite the fight to get him to sit on Santa’s lap and even once I finally got him up there he wouldn’t look at him. But he didn’t scream in his face or pee in his lap so I view this as a success.

Ali on the other hand was so cute! She smiled for her 1st picture with Santa and put in her request (via Mom of course) for her own room. I just think this is something she’d want. Now, I’m not quite sure how the big guy will pull this one off; Does he want to finish our basement? …Find a new family for Calvin? I’m just not sure. Nonetheless, we’re counting down the days and although Calvin still doesn’t understand what this “Christmas” thing is we’re all talking about, he loves all the lights and snow, and asks for toast made from gingerbread every morning for breakfast!

I also had a very proud moment last week. We were sitting on the couch and Calvin turned to me and said, "You shoot your eye out kid." My work is done.

Sometimes he's cute

This little post is only here to precede the what some might call "negative" one I just wrote. Calvin has been doing and saying some funny things lately, so I just thought I’d share…

A couple of weeks ago the home teachers stopped by. Calvin opened the door, told them to “Come in!”, shook their hands, and then asked them if they wanted to watch Indiana Jones with us! After they left he shook their hands again, shut the door, then said to me “They were nice guys!”

We were at ShopKo and this old man wearing a hat came up to Calvin and waved and said hi to him. Calvin just stared at him and never said anything but he had a look on his face that I’ve never seen him make before. When the guy walked away Calvin turned to me with his eyes lit up and said “Indiana Jones!”

Calvin now sings the Alphabet Song: A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I-J-Hardy-L-M-N-O-P….Now I know my A-B-C-D-E-F-Gs, Next time won’t you sing with me!

I bought a little votive candle centerpiece thing, and when I put the red candles in it Calvin said, “It’s so pretty! Like Jell-o!”

Other than that, Calvin continues the daily routine of curiosity and cruelty.

We're still here...

I can’t believe it’s already December! I’ve been neglecting the blog lately, but not because I don’t have anything to talk about. In fact, a lot has happened and I have plenty to say. I’ve been more excited about Christmas this year than I have been in a long time and I think it’s because Calvin seems to have more of an understanding and I think he’ll grasp it completely this year, and also because now that our family is complete I was finally able to let my mom buy us stockings from Pottery Barn! Currently, Calvin has found yet another way to attack my heart. By climbing over the baby gates, installed for his safety and our sanity, he now has access to the kitchen, basement, and outdoors. The kitchen floor has been the victim of half a box of crunched up cereal, a pitcher full of water, a couple of fruit bowls worth of peaches, and broken eggs. At least he threw the carton away after he broke all of them, and I guess I should be thankful more damage hasn’t been done, but I’ll be sure and let you know when he does it. He hasn’t really done much destruction downstairs, I just worry about what he could get into such as laundry detergents, the randomly exposed toilet, rolls of insulation, paint, and computers. So until we have a spare hundred twenty dollars laying around to buy the extra high gates, we’ll really see what he’s capable of. If anyone would like to donate to our cause we accept cash, checks, and money orders. My aunt has also opened a Save the Boobies Fund due to the recent weight she’s lost. I find this to be a worthy cause, “Mary-Kate and Ashley” shouldn’t have to suffer on behalf of better health! (PS you look awesome Cindy! Way to go!) Anyway, since our last session Calvin knocked over our floor lamp at the perfect angle for it to barely hit the tile and shatter it. He threw his shoe at the table centerpiece and shattered the vase. I’m not too upset over that one since the vase came from our wedding and I have like 10 replacements. However, as time continues I may have to take back the ones we gave away as party favors. He fell off of the bookcase that he shouldn’t have been climbing in the first place, and he also shattered the glass in a picture frame. I’m seeing a trend… I tend to doze a lot (obviously and for obvious reasons) and I was quite amused to wake up to a hysterically laughing Ali while Calvin was in the kitchen standing at the fridge throwing Kraft singles in her direction like Frisbees! Also in recent news, we had to replace the motor in our heater. I love the holidays!

Blog Therapy

Lately as I’ve been thinking about whether or not I should update my blog and continually choosing the latter, I realized that I’m constantly complaining about the monster down the hall I call my son. Don’t get me wrong, I love him. I slept through 12 hours of intense labor (those lines were really jumping!) and pushed for an hour to get him here. He turned my world upside down and it’s never been better. It’s amazing how your blood pressure can skyrocket and your heartbeat go from comfortably calm to lethally dangerous as that 3 foot-tall miracle runs in and yells “Why’d you do that Calvin?!! Go to your room and sit on bed!” Excellent. At least he punishes himself, but what could it be this time? A whole roll of tp unrolled straight into the toilet? No no, that was 3 weeks ago. A box of 500 q-tips dumped in the toilet? No wait, that was 2 weeks ago. Maybe he decided to play Joker and paint his face with my waterproof mascara again, because that was a lot of fun!


Generally the crime is unfathomable. Not something my complex 22 year-old brain can think up. In this particular case I’m not sure who suffered more. Me, the one who was nauseated by the smell of Desitin all day in his breath, or him, the one who brushed his teeth with it. Am I bitter that I’ve had to throw away 3 discs that had been snapped in half? Yeah a little (one was Saving Silverman for Heaven’s sake!), but I’m just grateful that none of those came from our prized collection of all 10 seasons of FRIENDS. Am I bitter we had to take the handles off of the dresser? Making it difficult for an adult to wedge their fingers in the sides but just right for a child to still weasel his way into it? Or that our baby gates are now permanent fixtures in our home? Actually drilled into the door frames or Calvin can just ram into it and push it out. I can’t even tell you how proud I was when I watched him lay one of his trucks on its side on the very edge of his bed, stand on it on his tippy toes, and then take his arm and whack all of his dvds off of his shelf. Pretty clever kid, but still can’t figure out while all of his movies skip. When this happens he takes it out and says “It’s scratched and dirty! Do you see that?!” (Oh my gosh! I just had the scene float through my head from “The Ringer” when the handicap kid yells at Johnny Knoxville for scratching his cd. It’s exactly like that! Perfect.) He’s so intense about everything. Sometimes when I look into his eyes I can almost see fire and pitchforks. But then... his eyelashes get in the way and this boy comes to mind:

By raise of hands, who remembers this child? I know it seems like so long ago, but yes, this is indeed Calvin aka Baby of the Year 2006. And don't you forget it! I bring this up for 2 reasons: 1. Because this was pro’ly the proudest day of my life (and I don’t care if it was a drawing) and 2. This is the boy I still think of him as once we’ve put him down for the night. The boy who puts the foot rest up for me whenever I sit down on the La-Z-Boy. The one who puts the mirror up to my face and says “Ohhh, Mommy’s sooo pretty.” (Does that mean he’s sweet or just well trained? I don’t think I care.) And the one who sings the whole Little Einsteins theme song with me (which is so cute I’m seriously considering posting the recording but probably won’t since I’m singing on it too). So the next time I’m grumbling about jell-o, pudding, calamine lotion, hand sanitizer, foundation, exfoliant gel (thanks Uncle Joe!), hair gel, Vaseline, Desitin, or Ali’s Ear Care gel smooshed into my carpet, it’s only because this is my outlet and the only way I can find humor in it. Plus I think if I can get him doing arabesques and plies with June (Little Einsteins) on tape I’ll have all the satisfaction/black mail I need to go on! Thanks for your support, you guys are such great listeners!

Calvin Jay Hardy: Full-time Disciplinarian

In case you weren't lucky enough to receive these accounts firsthand, here is a quick recap of last weeks events:

Calvin began my punishment by dumping half a bag of saltines all over the living room and dining room floor followed by stepping on all of them. Then, with the greatest of ease he opened Ali's dresser drawer with the expertly installed (NOT expertly designed) child-proof locks and scatttered all of her clothes. Next he pulled out all the wipes individually and threw them around the house. But before he deemed the task done he managed to rip a few up into smaller, less-manageable pieces. Then after either Jordan or myself (Jordan) carelessly didn't lock the pantry back up, Calvin found a Sam's Club bag worth of paper cups that apparently he just couldn't bear to leave in the bag. Not knowing what to expect next but becoming accustomed to his merciless way of life, I walked into my bedroom to find him standing there, loose powder in hand, shaking it out onto the floor. -Calvin was considerate enough to span this out over a week's time to further the chastisement and help me better understand the lesson at hand, so thanks Boy. As for me, lesson learned: Don't have premarital sex.

Monthly Update

Yes, it's that time of month again. No, not that one! Hardy Family Update: September Edition. I know you all have been dying to know what's new with us so I'll try and make this as interesting as possible seeing how no significant life changing events have taken place since the last post. (Ahem...) Let's begin.


It's hard to believe that this has actually happened, but for the first time in two years I have feelings of gratitude that I work the social outcast-causing shift of graveyard. In turn I only have to be home two nights a week with the children. Jordan and I postponed moving Ali to her crib for as long as possible because well, she just won't sleep through the night and we were worried about how the boy would handle that. PS he's not doing well, but we'll get to that. 5 months old and the REM cycle is still being disrupted two to three times a night! Bless her heart, I suppose she's probably just conditioning us for the glorious teenage years she'll put us through in the years to come. However, the girl really isn't the problem. Although she is the root of it, it's really the boy who makes these midnight ventures so blood curdling. If the slightest noise comes out of her, Calvin is screaming "SISTER CRY! SISTER CRYYY! AAAHHH!" This goes on until the problem is silenced, and by then it's "Hobbes needs covers! Hobbes covers!" in the most fake heart-breaking cry he can manage, and then the on-duty parent has to retuck Calvin's stuffed animal back in bed with him. From there the conversation plays out like this:

Calvin: Thank you.

Me: You're welcome. I love you, go back to sleep.

Calvin: Calvin drink of water?

Me: No sweetheart you need to go back to sleep.

Calvin: Calvin eat corn dogs?

Me: Not right now, it's time to sleep.

Calvin: Jelly sandwich?

Me: You already ate dinner buddy, you need to go back to sleep.

Calvin: Go to park and play?

Me: It's too dark to play. It's nighttime, time to sleep.

Calvin: Calvin go to nursery?

Me: Nursery is closed right now. You can go on Sunday, but right now it's time to go back to sleep.

Calvin: TV back on?

Me: If I turn the TV back on can I go back to sleep?

Calvin: Ok.

Please realize that the duration isn't a mere few sentences, it's more like 10 to 15 minutes from start to finish. I don't even know how to describe this to you unless you have personally witnessed a distressed scream from Calvin. The best I can do is as follows; you know when you walk into Wal-Mart and you haven't even passed the greeter gent before you hear a child screaming? It's that same awful feeling you get listening to that screaming child, while you're wondering who the heck the mother is and why she can't keep her kid under control. And if she can't keep her kid under control why is she allowing that kid out in public where there are innocent ears at stake? And then you look down and it's your obnoxious child who is ready to jump out of the cart to go ride the train or at least die with the pride of trying. It's that bad.

Me: Baby Einstein it is.

All in all the routine sounds quite simple. And then it happens again. "ALI BINKIE! ALI BINKIE! BINKIE BINKIE! BINKIE!!!!" Sure glad we spent that 50 bucks on the super sound sensitive baby monitor. Oh how I love the 40x intensified screams. Who needs the modern technology when you have a 2 year old with the lung capacity of an elephant? Any couples out there who are expecting, save your money, Calvin's available and his services are free.

Beauty is Pain

Last Saturday was Adri's birthday, so we decided to celebrate with a small shopping trip to the Gateway. So we're walking around and I'm pondering ways I could inflict pain on my innocent infant child who is in exceptionally good spirits when it hits me . . . "Let's stab holes in her earlobes!" So we did. Except it didn't happen quite so violently. The intense description is merely a result of sleep deprived writing. It pretty much went more like this: We were walking around, I see a sign that says Ear Piercing and was like "Let's get Ali's ears pierced!" And Adri was like "OMG Let's do it!" Basically. Piercing Ali's ears is something I've been so excited to get done since before she was born but when it actually came down to it I wasn't sure if I would be able to handle it. But I was a trooper and followed through (especially since they had already taken my money and were prepping their guns to hold at my baby's head). After quite an effort of trying to get my baby turned octopus to hold still, with a pull of the trigger . . . Oh . . . My . . . Adorable!! Ali didn't even cry very hard and not for very long, and only gave off the occassional attention-driven wimper for like 10 minutes after. And now, she is so pretty with her little diamond studs! Well, she was pretty before but now it's like all she's missing is her tiara and diamond shoes! And if anyone knows where I can find diamond shoes in size Baby I'll be sure and get that taken care of.

So Happy Birthday Adri! And here's to us: May Baby Ali follow in our vanity!