Calvin Jay Hardy: Full-time Disciplinarian

In case you weren't lucky enough to receive these accounts firsthand, here is a quick recap of last weeks events:

Calvin began my punishment by dumping half a bag of saltines all over the living room and dining room floor followed by stepping on all of them. Then, with the greatest of ease he opened Ali's dresser drawer with the expertly installed (NOT expertly designed) child-proof locks and scatttered all of her clothes. Next he pulled out all the wipes individually and threw them around the house. But before he deemed the task done he managed to rip a few up into smaller, less-manageable pieces. Then after either Jordan or myself (Jordan) carelessly didn't lock the pantry back up, Calvin found a Sam's Club bag worth of paper cups that apparently he just couldn't bear to leave in the bag. Not knowing what to expect next but becoming accustomed to his merciless way of life, I walked into my bedroom to find him standing there, loose powder in hand, shaking it out onto the floor. -Calvin was considerate enough to span this out over a week's time to further the chastisement and help me better understand the lesson at hand, so thanks Boy. As for me, lesson learned: Don't have premarital sex.